


Drink and Deny

by mariadperiad20



Series: Foray into B99 [29]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Amy "what the fuck" Santiago, Family!Squad vibes, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jake "no trauma here" Peralta, Jake Peralta Needs a Hug, Roger Peralta's A+ Parenting, bamf!team, dad!holt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:01:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27511981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariadperiad20/pseuds/mariadperiad20
Summary: Jake should have stopped two drinks ago.He wasn’t normally bad at holding his liquor - but he just couldn’t seem to put down the booze. The squad was milling around a table at Shaw’s, enjoying the fact that they finally managed to close a case on a guy who smuggled drugs in a private airliner. Roger had been involved, and helped them identify the perp -  a guy he had flown with back in the day.The squad had invited him to join them. He hadn’t shown up - because of course he didn’t. They had offered their sympathies. As if Jake would ever admit to being grateful for Roger's absence.Request fic!
Relationships: Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago
Series: Foray into B99 [29]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1320137
Comments: 24
Kudos: 280





	Drink and Deny

Jake should have stopped two drinks ago.

He wasn’t normally bad at holding his liquor - but he just couldn’t seem to put down the booze. The squad was milling around a table at Shaw’s, enjoying the fact that they finally managed to close a case on a guy who smuggled drugs in a private airliner. Roger had been involved, and helped them identify the perp - a guy he had flown with back in the day.

The squad had invited him to join them. He hadn’t shown up - because of course he didn’t. They had offered their sympathies. As if Jake would ever admit to being grateful for Roger's absence.

Terry slid a glass of water towards Jake across the table, pulling him out of his self-flagellating thoughts.

“Hey, man, maybe you should take it easy. You’re gonna regret it tomorrow.” His voice was friendly.

Jake ignored the water, opting to try to make friends with the bottom of his glass. “So? I regret everything else in life, why not this too?”

Rosa smacked his arm. “Dude, don’t drink depressed. It’s lame.”

Jake felt a surge of annoyance. “I didn’t ask you.”

“Fine.” Rosa said sharply, pulling back. Jake knew he was going to regret being rude to her tomorrow - she was probably hurt by it, even if there were no indicators - but for right now, he was too… ugh, what, irritated? Upset? He wasn’t even sure, to feel bad about it right now.

Holt looked impassive. “I presume your frustration is in regards to the absence of your father tonight?”

“You kidding?” Jake asked incredulously, “I’m fucking relieved. Roger and alcohol don’t go well together.”

“What does that mean?” Amy - the designated - asked, confusion coloring her tone. Jake had never mentioned anything much about his dad, save his lack of a presence. She wasn’t aware he had even been a part of Jake’s life enough for Jake to have that opinion of him - although, to be fair, they’d only been dating for a while, so maybe it was just more private. But then, if it was private, she wasn’t sure he wanted to be announcing it to the whole squad.

“When he was sober, he was cheating on my mom. When he was drunk, he was beating the shit out of me.”

There was a beat of silence, as everyone seemed to process that information. Jake kept staring at his glass, as if willing it to refill itself. He didn’t want to be able to think, anymore.

“Your father… hit you?” Holt asked slowly, as if he didn’t quite believe it - or want to believe it.

Jake blinked, looking up. He hadn’t realized he’d said that out loud - although, judging by everyone’s expressions, he had possibly majorly fucked up.

Terry was gripping his glass so hard it looked like it was going to crack. He looked like he was about to start yelling, so that was fun. Rosa’s scowl was even more pronounced than usual, and she was glaring - although at what, Jake wasn’t entirely sure. Charles looked like he was on the brink of a breakdown, and Jake was pretty sure he was going to start crying. And Amy… Amy was looking at him with such open concern that it made him freeze up, his heart aching at the sight.

“Uhh…” Came his intelligent reply. He hesitated for another moment, then picked up the water Terry had offered, using it as an excuse to not respond.

“Jacob, did Roger abuse you?” Holt asked again, voice somehow even more serious than before - and with just enough of a hint of authority that Jake felt compelled to answer.

“Only a little,” He answered defensively, “Besides, it’s not that big of a deal. He was a deadbeat - heh, get it? Dead _beat_ ,” Jake laughed at his own joke, but no one else did. Tough crowd, he supposed. “And he wasn’t around most of the time, so it wasn’t like it happened that often.”

“How often did it happen?” Holt was pressing him.

“Just when he got drunk - look, can we move on? Seriously, we have more drinking to do and I’d rather not think about anything.”

“Jake,” Terry said concernedly, “That shouldn’t have happened.”

“Look, it’s fine. It was my own fault, it’s not like it mattered.”

“Wha- that’s not- _what?_ ” Terry’s voice increased in volume, “That’s not even close to true! You don’t _honestly_ think you deserved to get abused, did you?”

“Wow, you guys, stop throwing around the word abuse. Come on, it wasn’t even that bad. Seriously.” Jake wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince - them, or himself. Regardless, he refused to think about that right now. “Look, it’s just… when he got drunk and I was annoying, he just wanted me to be quiet, okay? It’s not that difficult to understand, you guys know how talkative I get.”

“You were a child.” Holt said sharply. “Additionally, your communication capabilities are more than welcomed in the precinct.”

“Whatever.” Jake shrugged, “Look, I’m not a kid anymore, okay? He can’t hurt me again, so let’s just move on.”

“No, we need to… talk about this.” Rosa said, grimacing.

Charles still looked like he was still about to cry, but nodded along with Rosa’s words.

“Well, it can wait until Jake’s sober, don’t you think?” Amy cut in, “This doesn’t seem like the appropriate timing.”

Terry hesitated. “Well, yes, but… Jake, where is your dad now? Do you know?”

“Can you guys stop calling him my dad, geez. We all know Holt’s my Dadptain. Roger’s just… ugh.” Jake grimaced, “He’s not my dad. So it doesn’t matter. And no, I don’t know where he is. And I don’t care. He’s not in my life, that’s all I care about.”

Holt was looking at him with an odd expression - if Jake was sober he’d call it endearment, or maybe flattered, but for now he didn’t want to even look at any of them. He didn’t want to even think about how this night had turned out. Especially since he had been the one to bring down the mood. All because he couldn’t keep his fucking mouth shut about Roger.

Amy was still frowning. “I thought you said your da- that Roger was back with your mom.”

“Well yeah. But he never hit her.” Jake shrugged, “And besides, she doesn’t care about him cheating, apparently.”

“But…” Now Amy looked even more confused. “Then, did she know about you and your dad?”

Jake didn’t reply, opting instead to drink some more of what was unfortunately still just water - he was hoping it had magically turned into vodka when he wasn’t looking - and evaded the question.

Rosa’s expression was now legitimately murderous. “I can take care of him, if you want.” She offered.

“No, thanks. I just don’t want to think about him anymore.” Jake said, “Can we please just move on? It happened a long time ago, and I’m over it. It doesn’t matter to me, so it shouldn’t matter to you guys.”

“Jake, I’m so sorry we weren’t there for you then.” Charles interrupted.

Jake frowned. “Dude, it’s fine. You guys didn’t even know me back then. Besides, Gina was always there for me. It wasn’t like I was totally screwed.”

“Still,” Charles was now wiping at his eyes, “We’re here for you now.”

“I don’t… need-?” Jake stopped when he noticed Charles looked like he was about to start openly sobbing. “Um, thanks.” He opted instead.

“Jake, Terry patted him on the shoulder encouragingly, “I promise, we won’t let him hurt you again.”

“He wasn’t going to.” Jake replied.

“That you know of.” Rosa said shortly.

Jake turned to look at her, and she raised an eyebrow.

“Can you honestly tell me you never worry, not even once, that he’s going to come after you?”

Jake’s denial died in his throat. His lack of a response went on for a beat too long, and her expression changed - a sort of disappointed smugness. Like she knew she was right, but wasn’t happy about it.

“That’s what I thought.” She said finally, but not unkindly.

“We will not allow harm to come to you, Jacob,” Holt said firmly, “Be it new or retroactive.”

Amy nodded, “And, Jake, if you ever want to talk about it, or anything, we’re here for you.”

“Or if you want to file charges.” Terry offered.

“Or if you need a hug.” Charles added.

Jake cracked a smile. “You guys are really great, you know that? Seriously, I…” He felt weirdly choked up, “I’m… I’m glad I get to work with you all. It- um,” He cleared his throat. “It uh, means a lot. To me.”

“Group hug?” Charles offered.

“No-” Jake began.

It was too late. It was already happening - Charles and Terry eagerly doing so, Amy joining in. Rosa, rolling her eyes even as she squeezed him tight, and Holt - faux begrudgingly - patting him on the back.

It felt nice.

Jake didn’t know why he was crying, but it felt nice.

He felt… welcomed. Part of a family that he hadn’t known he’d needed, until he had joined the squad. Until he’d met them all. Until he’d grown to love them all-

Well, fuck. No wonder he was crying.

This is what it felt like to be loved.

It was an unfamiliar sensation, but Jake found that he never wanted to lose it.

**Author's Note:**

> Total request: _Aaaaa I loved this fanfic🔥! I actually had a request for a fanfic but no pressure ofc :D Fanfic idea: the 99 squad all go for a drink and Jake gets drunk, when there all talking, Jake accidentally confesses about the abuse he had to go trough bc of his dad._
> 
> this one was interesting to write, since it's more conversation/dialogue than i normally do, but i enjoyed going out of my comfort zone a bit :D
> 
> if you liked the fic, pls consider leaving a comment! <3


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